Donkeys and Divorce

Choosing Kindness: Where You Place Your Attention Matters

There’s something about being surrounded by beauty that softens you.

On vacation with my family in Antigua, everything felt lighter—the ocean stretching endlessly, the warmth of the sun, the easy laughter that seems to come more naturally when life slows down. It would have been easy to say that was the highlight of the trip.

But it wasn’t.

The moment that stayed with me most didn’t happen on a beach or over a delicious meal.
It happened while walking—quite literally—through mud, hay, and poop at the Antigua Donkey Sanctuary.

And it changed me.

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Kindness Shows Up in Unexpected Places

The Antigua Donkey Sanctuary is a rescue for donkeys who have been hurt, abused, neglected, or abandoned. These animals carry visible scars, some physical, some emotional. And yet, what overwhelmed me wasn’t sadness. It was kindness.

The people there show up every day with patience, compassion, and deep dedication. They clean stalls. They tend wounds. They speak gently. They offer safety again and again, even when trust takes time.

There was no glamour in that work.
Just steady, consistent kindness.

And it was beautiful.

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Surround Yourself With What Heals You

We don’t always get to choose what we’ve been through.
We do get to choose what we surround ourselves with now.

Kindness heals.
Positivity restores.
Compassion, given and received, changes us.

When you intentionally place yourself in spaces where kindness exists, it reminds you of what’s still good. It reminds you that even in a world where pain, hurt, and negativity are real, they are not the whole story.

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Seek Out the Good—On Purpose

Choosing kindness doesn’t mean denying reality or pretending everything is fine. It means expanding your focus.

It means:

• Looking for the smiles, even on hard days
• Letting yourself linger in moments of warmth and connection
• Noticing the helpers, the healers, the quiet good
• Allowing yourself to be moved by compassion

Kindness doesn’t erase suffering. Instead, it balances it. It gives your nervous system a place to rest. It reminds your heart that healing is possible.

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Where You Place Your Attention, You Place Your Energy

What we focus on grows.

When we focus only on what’s broken, we feel heavier.
When we intentionally notice what’s kind, gentle, and loving, something inside us softens.

Sometimes that kindness looks like:

• A hug you didn’t expect
• A smile from a stranger
• A rescued donkey finally learning to trust again

Sometimes it looks like choosing environments, people, and experiences that feel life-giving instead of draining.

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Choose the Light—Again and Again

In a world that can feel loud, harsh, and heavy, choosing kindness is an act of courage.

Seek it out.
Surround yourself with it as often as you can.
Let it remind you of who you want to be—and how you want to live. Because even in the mud, even in the mess, even in the hard places—
there is goodness.
There is healing.
And there is always light, waiting to be noticed.

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What we focus on truly does grow.
When you begin to notice the smiles, the helpers, the quiet and consistent goodness, something inside starts to soften.
Even in seasons of transition – especially after divorce – choosing where you place your attention can be an act of healing.
And sometimes, having support helps you notice the good again.