I Got Dumped… Again

A flipped kayak and a reminder why we’re not meant to do hard things alone

I got dumped again.

Not in the way you might think but in a way that felt surprisingly familiar to when my husband decided our marriage was over.

I was recently kayaking in beautiful Antigua, enjoying the crystal blue water, taking in the views, breathing in the salt air, feeling the warm sun on my face.  I was feeling capable, adventurous and pretty darn cool… until my kayak flipped. One second I was upright and moving forward. The next, I was splashing, separated from my boat, bobbing in the deep water next to a kayak I could not get turned back over.

I tried to fix it myself.
I really did.

I had a life jacket on. I wasn’t in immediate danger. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not get the kayak upright or hoist myself back in. I wasn’t strong enough. The water was over my head so I had nothing for leverage or balance. Every attempt left me more exhausted and shaken.

People from the hotel water sports team noticed I was struggling. They watched for a moment (long enough to know this situation clearly wasn’t resolving on its own) and then the beach patrol rescue boat came out.

I needed help.
And I couldn’t pretend I didn’t.

The feelings came fast

As the rescue boat approached, a wave of emotions hit me just as hard as the water had.

• Embarrassment: Everyone can see me.
• Shame: I should be able to do this.
• Helplessness: I don’t know what happens next.
• Nervousness: What if this gets worse?

I was safe but I was not okay. And no amount of trying harder was going to change that.

The beach patrol staff knew exactly what to do. They didn’t judge me. They didn’t lecture me about technique or strength. They helped me into their rescue boat (this was not easy or graceful at all), calmly helped me back to safety, and guided my empty kayak to shore.

I was okay again.

Not because I figured it out alone—but because I accepted support from people who knew what to do.

This is what divorce feels like

Divorce can flip you just as suddenly.

One moment you’re living a familiar life. The next, you’re upside down – disoriented, separated from what once felt stable, and trying desperately to right yourself.

You might have resources.
You might look “fine” on the outside.
You might even be wearing your emotional life jacket.

But that doesn’t mean you can get back to safety on your own.

Like my flipped kayak, divorce often puts you in deep emotional water:

• You’re overwhelmed and exhausted
• You’re unsure which way is up
• You’re trying to pull yourself together without solid footing
• You feel embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid to let others see how much you’re struggling

And just like on the water, struggling alone doesn’t usually lead to progress. It leads to exhaustion.

Support isn’t weakness.  It’s wisdom

What struck me most about this flipped kayak wasn’t that I needed help. It was how quickly things changed once I accepted it.

The right support:

• Stabilizes you when you’re panicking
• Helps you regain calm before you make decisions
• Knows the terrain and the risks
• Gets you back to solid ground faster and safer

Divorce is not a solo sport, no matter how strong, capable, or independent you are.

Trying to “muscle through” emotional deep water often keeps people stuck longer than necessary. Healing, clarity, and forward movement come faster when someone steady is beside you.  Similar to someone who knows how to guide a tourist who’s been unexpectedly dumped upside down from her kayak.

A gentle reminder

If you’re going through divorce and feel like your life has been flipped:

• You are not weak for needing help
• You are not failing because you’re struggling
• You are not meant to do this alone

Getting support doesn’t mean you can’t handle your life.
It means you’re choosing safety, clarity, and calm over exhaustion and fear.

I’m deeply grateful that someone noticed, stepped in, and knew exactly what to do when I couldn’t get myself back to shore.

We all deserve that kind of support, especially when life turns us upside down.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is raise your hand, say “I need help,” and let someone guide you back to solid ground.